the other day i shared the feeling that life feels like it’s humming these days. what does that mean?
i'm not entirely sure and i feel with certainty that the meaning evolves, shape-shifts. last november by a joyous turn of events i wound up at a laurie anderson performance. that performance was the beginning of a new line of inquiry for me, revolving around the ears and the sonic experience. it gave way to new questions, fertilized my life with curiosity, reading, writing, experiencing surrounding these new wonderings. it all leads me where i need to go. this last weekend a friend text me saturday morning about going to a dance class and an hour and a half later there i was in the dance studio, as it turns out in a class themed around the ear/listening as a practice. i smiled big feeling the invisible line being drawn from this class and moment to all of the reading and writing i've been doing the last few months. it all leads me where i need to go. working with children puts me in proximity of their sensibilities, i observe the ways they self regulate or try to. the past few months i found myself subconsciously humming, mostly while biking. i notice how regulatory it is, in a way it feels like walking but with my voice. i sense another invisible line being drawn from my hum observation and practice to the readings and writings i've been submerged in since november. a hum moves through me and i move through it, a trusting symbiosis. it all leads me where i need to go. over the last six months to a year i've been feeling as though my foundation(s) have sprouted a million little strong and light tendril limbs and they are collectively moving me,us. i’m met with this intrinsic wordless knowing that the last few years have been leading up to this. a traumatized landscape once weighed down by boulders, bloated and wilting is now bare and porous and most importantly, unafraid. so, in some way maybe this is what i currently mean when i say "life is humming these days", its feeling increasingly like a trusting symbiosis. life! feels! integrated! i need no convincing to lean in(or need no agonizing pursuing) for it all leads me where i need to go.